Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the biggest of them all?

For an increasing number of people today, muscles literally make the man. As societies fixation on appearance has lead to an increased number of us being dissatisfied with our bodies a new disorder has emerged. Roger Jones has lost his job, friends and family to this novel disorder, Muscle Dysmorphia (MD).

MD is characterised by a preoccupation that one’s body is not lean or muscular enough. Dr Robert Oliviardo an expert of the syndrome explains “it involves a disturbance in body image, similar to that of anorexia, except in anorexia individuals perceive themselves as fatter than they really are, where as those with MD see themselves smaller and weaker than they truly are”

A retired judge for the National Amateur BodyBuilders Association (NABBA) and an experienced personal trainer, Roger was shocked at his initial diagnosis of Muscle Dysmorphia, otherwise known as Bigorexia. “It took a while to admit that I had the syndrome but it is so obvious now, I was never satisfied with my appearance, I would reach a goal weight and set myself a higher one”

Roger’s relationship with body building began at a young age, “I was picked on a lot as a teenager and decided to do something about it, I set up a gym in my basement and aimed to get as big as I could”. Roger entered his first competition at 19 and won his class, from then he was “totally hooked”.

Roger would keep comprehensive records of what he ate, drank and weighed on a daily basis as well as his extensive workout routine. “I would spend at least 3 hours in the gym every day, if I missed a workout I would feel a huge amount of anger and guilt” Roger even missed his brothers’ wedding as it interrupted with his training regime. “My fear of getting smaller overruled my relationship with my brother” Dr Oliviardo reports that “an individual will often miss important recreational or social events because of their compulsive need to continue their workout schedule along with feelings that their body is inadequate for the public eye.”

Roger, whom has experimented with anabolic steroids in the past, admits that the use of muscle enhancing drugs is highly prevalent in the body building community. “Taking steroids was a vicious cycle for me, I would gain 15lbs relatively quickly then stop taking them and loose 10lbs, forcing me to start taking them again”. Roger stopped the use of these drugs after his diagnosis due to the long term consequences which include depression, thin bones, diabetes and ironically muscle weakness. “I started body building to gain health and confidence, instead it lead me to potentially causing huge damage to my body”.

Bingeing was another negative behaviour that regularly took over Roger’s life, so much so that a binge after a competition would commonly result in 10-20% weight gain within two weeks.   “The excessive fat gain in such a short period of time after looking my absolute best was devastating to my self esteem”. He would then try to diet excessively to remove the fat gained, often resulting in another binge.

Mary Shapeland from eating disorder charity BEAT explains “the cycle of bingeing and restriction can lead to vast metabolic damage meaning the individual can only eat small amount without gaining body fat”.  Roger reports the binge-restriction cycle is very common in the body building industry and feels it will only improve with education.

Roger was diagnosed with MD after taking part in an experiment studying Body Dysmorphia. “I think I unconsciously knew my obsession to be the biggest and leanest in the gym was not normal, I had just lost my girlfriend as I spent more time working out than with her which is why I signed up.”

Not only did the experiment, directed by Dr Olivardo report that a sufferer of MD will spend on average 325 minutes a day thinking about how small they are, but that many are obsessed with checking their size in the mirror up to 100 times daily.

He is now undergoing psychotherapy for his disorder. “It took me a long time to get treatment, I was so ashamed about my body and the condition but I felt so low I eventually asked for help”. 

Cognitive behavioural therapy has helped Roger to challenge his negative thoughts. “I feel happy and healthy for the first time in years”

Roger has finally realised that body perfection is unattainable. But how many more individuals will have to experience the devastating costs of Muscle Dysmorphia before society releases its belief that every individual must strive for the muscular ideal?